Learning to Trust Him

Having children is tough for a type-A gal like me. They are unpredictable and they don't always go along with my plans. I am pretty convinced that God has given me "hard to read" babies so that I will have to trust in Him. With Ashlyn, I tried to follow the guidelines described in the book "Babywise," but it never worked out. I had trouble getting her down for naps after every feeding and she would just cry and cry and cry. And because I am such a type-A person, I felt like I must be doing something wrong...to me, Babywise was a roadmap to parenting my new baby. I was a new parent and I needed some guidance. Babywise was it, and I was failing.

When Matthew was born, I had it in my mind that I was going to enjoy my baby and not get caught up in a bunch of rules. Quickly, though, I began doubting myself and went in search of other strategies. Then the Lord gave me a verse during one of my quiet times: "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." (Psalm 118:8)

It has been difficult to trust Him when Matthew is taking a super-long afternoon nap and the Babywise rule-follower in me says: "I must keep on schedule!" "I must wake him to feed him!" But I am learning. I just have to pray for wisdom and trust that I have received it.

James 1:2-8
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

I can't tell you how many times I have been a double-minded mother! I read a little of so-and-so's book and I do that for a few weeks...then it doesn't work so I try another book. Insanity!

I resolve to trust in the Lord! He is the one who knit Matthew together. He knows what is good for my little boy and He has PROMISED to give me that wisdom. It's going to be difficult to not be swayed by all of the professional opinions and all of the advice that is available, but I just pray that God will give me grace to trust Him so that I can honor Him with the way I mother my children.